~rUudRoOnaLdorOony~

Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you; for every one that asked received; and he that seek found; and to him that knocked it shall be opened. (Matthew 7: 7-8, KJV)

I’ve always asked for things that I can’t handle myself to be solved.
I’ve always asked for courage to speak directly what I’ve always wanted to say.
Case seems to be closed but You once again reminded me through Your disciple that it shouldn’t be closed first before your heart finds comfort.
I prayed and listened to what You wanted me to do, and soon after… I found the answer. The answer of my prayer was fast, I would say.
Problem is now solved because I find comfort from the Comforter, Jesus.

I’ve always asked for Your Will to be done in my life and not mine.
I’ve always asked for myself to punctually follow You and always on Your track.
Though I had failed in the beginning, when I pray, you bring me back and lift me up again into Your banqueting table.
Now I listen to You and pray… once again You answer my prayer:)

I don’t require for much just if it’s from You, I’d like it to be happened in my life.
No matter how long it takes, I’ll be waiting here and clinging to Your plans.

and I’ll always trust and obey.

I just can’t control my feelings. My brain works well but my heart fails to cooperate><

Boldly knowing it’s totally wrong…

but…

but…

Humans do make excuses which we should not…

Arghh,, just don’t know what to do, how to act><

Most importantly I won’t take the wrong steps,

I might but I’m trying not to..

I hope=D

I’m just a dreamer…

please wake me up and take my dreams away…

Humans don’t want to be blamed whether or not it’s their faults.

It’s the nature that has been occurred since Adam and Eve, the very first living humans on this earth.

Not to blame anyone at this case…

I did my best but you seem not to be cared.

I did my best but to be honest, you left first…

I may do the wrong things but you just do the same.

Every single thing that I do is not on purpose…
Time, situations, egoism have changed everything…

I don’t want all to be ended up like this…

But you are the one who want to end this like that…

Can we just be honest to ourselves?

Can you just not being a fake person?

Can you just express your feeling and shout the truth out?

Is it possible to turn back times and fix everything?

But honestly speaking, I’m happier than before.

Closeness is awesome…

Over-closeness is awful…

It has always come out that way. The answer of that question has always been "life’s great! things are going well. God’s blessings’ always been poured out upon my life."
Yes, all that I’m saying really is the truth… but the statical of life still can be felt deep inside this heart.  Just a big missing piece of puzzle that can’t ever be replaced by any other thing having been searched during this journey of life.

It’s been almost 7 years of never forgetting the moments that once were spent together, last time of hanging together under the stars that might still be at their same place but neither do we.
No one has taken the responsible for that, it’s just the phase of life and the fact that we’re never meant to be with each other, never!! and somehow the fact of that fact stirs the carousel inside my heart into the sweets, sours, and bitterness of life.

Thinking of might be my fault at once, would never change the fate of life that has been written by God, they say it’s a maktub (the alchemist-Paulo Coelho). But the regrets remain here, think of it might be the rock that once was thrown and making a deep hole inside my heart has made me sick! But life is not to be regretted. Every decisions, God involves and He surely knows the best.

You may not see the outcome now at the moment but it’s coming through the day and night.

Move on! yes, it has always been something that i longed for in the entire of my days. I’m in the pathway of achieving it and could only be reached when finding the replacement of the missing piece of puzzle, coz the old one surely doesn’t fit anymore.

One thing that I hate about myself.. "I’m still trying to force the old one to be fit  into the missing puzzle" it’s a mission impossible indeed!

Where the missing piece is?

Cara pacaran yang benar. . .

Bahan dasar:
1 pak kasih Kristus
1 mangkok besar Firman Allah
1 pak doa

Bahan isi:
1 pria, 1 wanita, pilih yang matang
1 gelas kasih sayang murni (KSM)
2 sendok komitmen
2 sendok komunikasi
1 butir kesamaan visi
1 potong restu keluarga
rasio dan emosi secukupnya

Bahan untuk hiasan/toping:
Humor segar dan kegiatan pelayanan, msg2 potong kecil2.
Pergi bareng secukupnya.
Telepon secukupnya (seperlunya).

Cara membuat:
* Untuk dasar:
Kocok lepas kasih Kristus hingga mengembang, tambahkan Firman Allah dan  doa, aduk rata & tidak lengket.

* Untuk isi:
Cuci bersih pria, wanita, kupas, buang semua kotorannya. Rendam dalam KSM yang merata. Sesudah menyerap, campur dengan kesamaan visi & restu keluarga. Bubuhkan rasio dan emosi. untuk tambahan bahan pengawet alami, komitmen dan komunikasi. Aduk rata.

* Untuk topping:
Campurkan smua. Siapkan loyang, alasi smua dindingnya dengan bahan dasar, Jangan tipis2. Masukan bahan isi sampai penuh, taburi atasnya dengan campuran humor segar, kegiatan pelayanan, pergi bareng & telpon-telponan sesuai aturan main.
Panggang dengan api sedang sampai warna coklat keemasan dan harum.
Siap sajikan hangat-hangat.

Lama masak:
Tergantung doa dan pelayanan.

—————-

nah inilah kriteria klo mau jadi pacar haha…

~Have you ever received a GiFt from somebody?~

For most of you, the answer must be YES!! What kind of GiFts have you ever received? CuTe one? your favourite one? desirable one? XpensiVe one? or even a unique one?

BuT, Have you ever received sTh that’s PriCeless?! Thing that’s totally you can’T afford to buy even with a penny or a miLLion!!

Well, luckiLy I’ve goT that kind of thing^^ noT only one, but I have TWO things. That’s also the sourCe of my HappiNesS

#1 The GiFt oF GRaCE : Who am I that The LorD of all the earTh would care to know my name? would care to fell my hurt?!  NoT because of wHo I am, buT because of what YoU’ve done; not because of what I’ve done, but because of WhO YOU are. WHO is GOD? HE is LoVe. What has GOD done? He gave HIS only SON, Jesus Christ to die for us and pay the penalty of our sins!!

I’m also sharing my GiFt with you. Do yoU also want to receive this Greatest GiFt?

#2 My Family : They’re absolutely my 2nd unbelieveable and irreplaceable gift from GOD!! Thank GoD, HE put me in a FamilY of GOD’s disciples^^

Dad or my loVelY papa; More than just a father for me, more than just a friend, more than just a guidance, more than just a helpeR, more than just a shelter, coZ he’s everything to me^^ No words can describe hoW amazing a father’s love is..

Mom or my shoulder-to-cry-on mama; Her prayer and all her blessings upon me, make me could stand high on my own feet!! All problems seem to be easier, coZ her prayers always guide my ways..

Sis or heaven’s-bonus cie" for me; SoMe people need to talk to their friends about solving their problems..but I just need to turn my head around and there..she’s always there to hear all my problems..and she’s there to help me solving them^^

Bro or always-make-me-laugh ke"; It’s always nice when you have someone to share the same interest with you. And I have my brother to share with^^He is the one who has introduced me to something that’s totally make my life more colorful. Yes!! It’s a football,the One and only Manchester United;)

Oo LoRD,, thank YoU for All your precious GiFTs to me..More precious than a gold, or even a diamond or whatever the most precious thing in this world..

~When The world makes you down, When The world rejects you, When there’s no one accept you!! OnLy GOD and a famiLy that will still remain beside you…in an unlimited condition!!~

## Give thanks to The LoRD and praise HIM for HiS LOVE and for a FamiLy that He’s given to us^^##

Thank GOD for life that YoU’ve given to me^^

Thank GOD for all the good and bad things^^

Thank GOD for all the opportunities in my life^^

Membicarakan soal hidup….gk akan ada habisnya buat g utk mengucap syukur ama Tuhan buat smua yg uda DIA berikan dlm hidup g hingga thn 2007 ini.

Banyak bgt hal2 yg terjadi ama diri g slama thn 2006 hingga saat ini. smua hal2 baik & buruk terjadi dgn seizin Tuhan & smuanya itu adlh baik;)

May 2006-akhirnya anak2 AbG lulus SMA deh haha..g pun lulus & siap2 utk memasuki jenjang yg lbh tinggi..pergumulan2 pun terjadi dlm hidup g, entah uni apa yg hrs g pilih utk meneruskan pendidikan..

June 2006-finally, dgn berbagai pertimbangan, kuputuskan utk mulai hidup scr mandiri di negri org & Singapore jadi pilihan d^^ knp hrs spore? secara itu negara deket bgt ama indo n my dad gk bs klo g pgi jauh2..so, my desicion was made!

Aug 2006-hari2 menuju keberangkatan g utk memulai khidupan di negri org. mgkn ini ptama kalinya bagi g jauh dr kluarga n ortu..yah pastinya sneng lah yah^^sdih jg krn hrs pisah ama org2 tcinta..khususnya hrs ninggalin grj tercinta, GSRI kartini, agak berat jg palg ninggalin murid2 sunday school yg uda g sayanggg bgt>.<) but life must go on..

Kesan pertama tinggal di SinGapore..yah it was soooo fun I think..blh dibilang g disini sndiri, mski ada my uncle n fam jg disini, tp gk tinggal barenk mrk. memasuki SIM seorg diri tdk ada siapa2..tp tnyata disini Tuhan mempertemukan g dgn tmn2 yg smuanya special bwt g..thank GoD, I’m not alone anymore;)

Kehidupan pun dimulai di Singapore, pertama2 it was so fun n exciting..tp lama kelamaan borink jg..ooo spore, I live in this little tiny boring country>.<)n tnyata spore tuh kecil bgt, gk seberapanya Jakarta lah..

Btw, klo soal tmpt tinggal disini, I’m totally alone..I mean, most of my friend live with their somebody..secara kbykan dr tmn2 g, pas skul ksini barenk2 ama tmnnya yg dr SMA ato semacamnya d hehe..sdgkan g sndiri!!

e.g. mukcoy live with her foster family. ega with kevin. apri still has a very nice ie2 there. erv with nana and metta [PVC]. etc..

I’m alone but never feeling lonely..yah itulah Ruth!! I’ve realized that GOD’s presence is veryyyyyyy near beside me^^ slama 19 thn g hidup, tdk pnah g rasakan Tuhan bgtu dekat di sisi g. krn itu g bsyukur Tuhan uda ngasi kesmpatan utk study di luar, n it also makes me nearer to HIM. Tiap hr kurasakan berkat Tuhan slalu berlimpah n gk pnah habis2nya dlm hidup g..

Skalipun dlm saat2 g susa, saat g jatuh dlm arti fisik maupun psikis. saat g patah tulang, tp pertolongan Tuhan tuh bnr2 nyata..amazing bgt, tulang g bs nyambung sndiri..itu smua klo bukan pekerjaan Tuhan gk mgkn bgt^^ I’m so thankful!!

Hidup g pun tdk pernah tanpa mslh, tp smua mslh yg g hadapi hingga saat ini bs g hadapi n g slesaikan dgn kekuatan dr Tuhan..

Suatu kali ada yg prnh nanya ama g, "Ruth, why r u always happy?" ya gk mgkn jg sih klo hidup kita itu hepi mulu, psti jg ada kan saat2 sdih n susahnya..

But my simple answer and it describes my happiness is :

                  Happiness is to know the SavioR,

                   Living a life within His Favour,

                  Having a change in my behavior,

                       Happiness is The LoRD..

                            ~GoD bless you all^^~

Forever itu artinya selamanya loh..ya elahh org bego jg tau ruth..ruth…hahaha…okay, back to the topic.
ummm..knp g menjadikan tema forever ini sbg blog pertama g? krn dalam kamus ruth veronica, forever means four-evfr and they’re so precious to me^^

wakakak..gk ngerti kan hayoo…nah saya jelaskan dolo..jadi :
FouR~evfr itu adalah nama persahabatan dari 4 anak manusia yg lucu2, imoet2, cantik2, hihi..narsis yah;)
dan itu terdiri dari elvira, vinchia, febby, ruth…
Nama four-evfr itu idenya dari Pila loh..jadi thanks to pila yah^^ uda memikirkan nama yg baguss bgt buat kita smua…btw, four-evfr itu bukan nama sembarangan krn itu adalah inisial dr nama kita masing..
FouR~evfr : FouR [the four of us] - e=elvira ; v=vinchia ; f=febby ; r=ruth
creative enough huh?! ^^

Nama persahabatan ini baru saja terbentuk dlm wktu dkt ini, lucu jg yah, kita uda lama tmnan tp namanya baru kebentuk skrg hehe…tanya knp? krn slama ini kita enjoy temenan n gk pernah mempersoalkan masalah nama genk ato apalah itu hehe..buat g, lbh baik gk ada nama genk tp ttp dket ampe kpnpun, drpd ada nama genk, tp itu smua buat sementara n nanti klo uda pada kepisah2, yah..bye bye nama genk and anggotanya..hehe..so we’re not a kind of person like that;)

tetapi dgn adanya nama ini, four~evfr, semakin mengukuhkan persahabatan kita, rite^^

ok, skrg g mau mulai mendeskripsikan satu persatu org2 priceless ini haha…

**four~Evfr : Elvira aka pila aka bagonk aka el [panggilan sayang kita2 yaitu pila ato gonk hehehe]
Elvira, org yg uda g knal sejak kecil, lupa deh TK ato SD, tp tepatnya kita uda sama2 skul di IPK sejak kecil [lovely IPK sunter skul tercinta^^] tp kenal skian lama cm tau2 aja n gk gt deket, maklum dulu genk nya kita beda kan hohoho…trus sampe smp pun kita masi 1 skul di ipk sunter..
nah,,,pada akhirnya takdir mempertemukan g utk mengenal lbh dekat sama sosok seorg elvira, cieee elahh hahaha..yaitu saat2 paling menyenangkan dlm seumur hidup g slama 19 tahun ini [duh ruh lo tuh hiperloba bgt yah hehehe] yaitu SMP 3 IPEKA sunter..3C, best moment, best class ever….^____+)
dan di kelas 3C inilah g menemukan soulmate2 g, dlm arti best friends g, yg ampes skrg…
first impression : Pila orgnya agak diem, yah bawel kok..tp msdna sama org baru gt, yg gk gt dikenal kali ^^
stlh temenan ama ni anak, tnyata dy ini baikkkk bgt…jarang bgt marah hehe..pkonya baikk d.
pake kata2 gk bs d deskripsikan elvira best friend g satu ini. orgnya special…cuma 1 di dunia, trus jayusss jg..dulu jd inget kekonyolan2 smua pas kls 3…miss that moment>.< klo pas maen boling2 an, elo yg ngelempar bola kan gonk haha…trus dulu sih, pas kls 3 jarang hang out ama el, krn pas itu dy punya cowo.
lalu SMA, kita smua kepisah, tmsk g ama el. saat2 awal SMA, mgkn uda agk jarang contact, tp saat2 kls 2 n 3 SMA, kita slalu contact, krn tnyata g miss bgt ama best friend g satu ini. jadi sering pgi brg^^most of the time kita pgi b2, kayak org pacaran aja hehe..renank, ntn, maen ke rmh pila, etc smua barenk^^snank=)mski gk 1 skul, tp kita bs ttp deket..ampe skrg g bsyukur bgt kita masi bs tmnan, mski uda beda negara>.<)tp u know what, g sneng bgt el klo tiap mlm suka dpt sms gud nite dr lo. and g jg gk pnah lupa utk doain lo tiap mlm. miss u miss u hahaha…

**four-eVfr : Vinchia aka pinsah aka babi [panggilan sayang kita adlh pinsah^^]
Vinchia, wah2 berhalaman2 pun gk akan cukup bagi g utk mendeskripsikan seorg vinchia di mata g, krn tlalu byk arti dy bagi g hehehe krn itu agak g simplify aja haha..pinsah, sama spt pila yg uda g tau sejak TK SD di IPK and lagi2 krn kelas terasik yg bawa smua momen2 indah dlm hidup g, yaitu SMP 3C IPK sunter, g jadi kenal lbh deket ama yg namanya vinchia. sesosok yg unik bgt, special bgt dlm hidup g hehehe..
nah beda ama pila, klo first impression : yah pinsah yah pinsah, emank orgnya gila, seru kocak jayusss,etc etc d hahaha…seru tmnan ama pinsah..tiap hari di kls gila2 barenk, kita jadi pin boling nya ya vin..haha..trus maen2 drama pake bhs2 prancis gk jelas wakakak…trus bolos kls barenk, ke kantin, ngecenk2 kk kls SMA huahaha..btpa centil kita dulu^^ trus ke perpus lah dll. wah seru abis masa2 itu;) trus gk cm skadar tmn di saat2 senang n gila2 an di skul. vinci jg menjadi tmn akrab g di saat senank n susah..masi ingat g ama vinci, bst friend g yg paling tegar,mski mslh dmi mslh silih berganti di hidup lo, tp lo bs kuat n atasi itu smua. g bnr2 salut n belajar byk dr lo vin, g aja mgkn gk skuat lo. tp dr kehidupan lo itu mengajarkan byk hal utk g. dulu mski uda ktmu di skul, tiap hr kita jg suka tlp2 ampe berjam2 hahaha..byk rahasia2 yg org gk tau, tp pinsah tau, bgtu jg sbaliknya n g sneng kita bs tmnan ampe skrg jg^^nah pas kls 3 SMP ini, g paling sering hang out nya ama vinchia..tiap wikend kmn2 b2 ud kayak org pacaran aja kita huahaha…tp g enjoy bgt persahabatan g ama ni anak..gk pnah bosenin ama vinci, ngomong apa aja, kpn aja, gk pnah abis bahan obrolan kita, ya gk? hal paling sdih wktu lulus2an kls 3, krn kita smua hrs pisah hikss..smua skul beda2..mgkn pas awal2 smpt jadi jarang kontek n jarang jalan. krn lo pindah rmh jauh n smuanya jadi repot..tp mski pada saat itu smuanya berubah, hati g gk akan berubah, lo akan slalu jd best friend g, gk tergantikan^^..akhir2 kita lbh sring kontek n sampe lo ke malaysia, hikss sdihnya saat itu.. tp g gk akan sdih lg, krn tnyata ampe skrg kita ttp dket, that’s God’s gift for me^____~) beda negara gk berarti hati kita jauh, ya gk? hehe..you’ll always appear in my prayer evry nite…thanks Tuhan uda menciptakan yg namanya sahabat buat g, sahabat spt pinsah, yg mski jauh tp sbnrnya deket^^

**four-evFr : Febby aka bebep aka pibi [panggilan sayang kita yaitu pibi^^]
Pibi, sosok yg sangat berharga di mata ruth..febby, with destiny she came to study in IPK sunter for her junior high years..yes, it was a destiny by God so that I can find my real best friend^^
Febby itu br masuk ipk wktu smp 1. pas smp 3, mski dy bukan kls 3C, tp g jg knal2 gt2 aja ama ni anak..knal nya jg dr pinsah n pila..tp ttp 1 genk dulu pas kls 3, ber8..nah g inget bgt, wktu g ptama kl dkt ma ni anak yaitu pas acara perpisahan ke puncak mega mendung, wah,,that was an awesome moment ever in my lifetime..pdhl awalnya kita cm tau gt2 aja..n jarang ngobrol jg. entah knp, gara2 di mega mendung, kita tu ngobrol nyambung bgt n click, cocok istilahnya hahaha..
first impression : orgnya lucu, imut2^^ n slth knal tnyata wah wah anaknya seru abisss bebep byk critanya, klo crita jg seruuu hahaha…senang bgt d bs knal ama yg namanya febby ini. n blh dibilang, slama masa2 SMA g, mski gk 1 skul, g paling dkt ama bebep..di saat senang n susah bebep slalu ada buat g. thanks bep, thank GoD^^ gk ada hal2 yg menyangkut diri g yg bebep gk tau, hmpir smua g crita ke bebep, saat2 smua org gk tau, g gk brani crita ama siapapun, g crita ke Tuhan of coz, ke bebep jg;) dy slalu ada buat dgrin keluh kesah g n entah knp g jadi lega stlh crita ama pibi hehe..hang out ber2 tiap X, tlpnan..mski kita sama2 sibuk, tp g slalu menyempatkan diri utk tlp ni anak hehehe….bebep jg slalu memberi g kekuatan di saat g down n byk mslh…ama bebep slalu seru n slalu byk crita. gk pnah bosen ama pibi…dy jg orgnya baikkk bgtttt…bnr2 baik ama smua org. jarang marah, malah g yg suka marah2 tp bukan marah2 ama pibi loh hahaha….orgnya polos bgt^^ baik d, penggemar agMon sejati haha…skrg mski uda gk 1 negara..sdihnya..tp g slalu sneng saat lo kirim sms gudnite hmpir tiap mlm buat g^___~) thanks bep, thanks to XL too…krn dr indo ke sg sms nya bs gratis, jd tmn2 tdk bangkrut gara2 mengsms g hahaha…lo slalu ada dlm doa g tiap mlm, krn g gk akan prnh lupa ama lo..u r precious to me..

deskripsi yg amat sangat singkat klo mnrt g, krn mereka mmg tdk dpt dideskripsikan dgn kata2 bwt g….
trima kasih Tuhan sudah memberikan org2 yg special dlm hidup g..

persahabatan yg amat sangat unik [krn kita smua kepisah pisah] yg akan slalu g jaga smpe akhir…
mgkn masing2 dr kita akan sibuk dgn urusan masing2 nti nya..n byk hal2 yg hrs kita hadapi di dunia ini…tp yg plg pnting kalian slalu ada dlm doa g tiap mlm…gk pnah lupa…slalu kuingat…ttp akrab smpe akhir yah..

mimpi g, Tuhan smoga twujud yah..kita tinggal berdekatan satu saat n barenk2 trus ampe nenek2 hahaha…

                        ~EvEn withOut seeing much~
                        ~EveN without talking ofTen~
                     ~A real Best Friends never apart~
              ~for they remain FouR-EVFR in the heart~

Finally, I create my own blog^^ mulai skrg g akan sering2 nge-post hal2 yg bhubungan ama Ruth Veronica hehehe..

nb: g akhirnya mau membuat blog ini krn terinspirasi ama pinsahku loh hehehe…

jgn lupa isi2 komen nti di blog kuhhh yah hehe..cya;)